Jus a little dog with a musing blog

 Opening Ghetto Whistle 

***From the Office of Ethel Minion***

Colleagues and Other Dogs, Frogs and Friends,

EthelPepsi Enterprises and Other Prizes, LLC (“EthelPepsi” or the “Company”) would like to extend a warm welcome to our newest team member and Chief Stenographer, Molly the Mollusk. Over the past three months Pigeoux, at the direction of the Board and founder, CEO and Chairdog, Ethel Minion, embarked on a mission to fill this most important position. Ethel said, “it was critical that our Sheef Stenographer was sharp, dickscrete and fast on her feet(s), and after an extensive multi-phased interview process it was clear that Molly exhibited all of these characteristics and importantly was NOT a cat in any way.” Molly beat out some formidable competition and also total has-been (more like never-was) Indra Nooyi.

“We are excited to have Molly on board!”, said Mosh (of driftwood exhibit / moving company fame). Although not formally part of Ethel’s trusted inner circle (the “Clique”), Molly will be traveling with Ethel to memorialize many important meetings (to be clear, the meetings are ALL important but Molly won’t be able to be at any of the highly classified / top secret ones).

We wish her the best. Welcome Molly.

Ethel Minion
Founder, CEO and Chairdog
EthelPepsi Enterprise and Other Prizes, LLC

PS: Please make sure to tune in to Micsh’s new morning show ’s and Friends. Debuting on Frogs’ Nudes this summer.

 Closing Ghetto Whistle 

EthelPepsi Enterprises and Other Prizes LLC is proud to announce the completion of a $50 millyion Series A round at a $550 millyion pre-money valuation for its latest venture FeudIn. The round was lead by Kleiner Perkins and Khosla Ventures (investors in Doggie-sytle.com).

FeudIn LLC is a social tracker that enables live, dynamic tracking of feuds across a user’s social network via an intuitive dashboard (the “Feud Feed”).  Track, organize and rank feuds across a myriad of fields such as Severity (from Ticked off to Midnight), length and likelihood of resolution.

Currently in private beta (in the private cloud of course), FeudIn is set to launch in early 2017 at which point it plans to expand its offices, install multiple slides, raise additional VC rounds at successively higher valuations and put some real thought into revenue opportunities.

Jus in time for Howloween Ethel Pepsi is launching the hotly anticipated Ethel Pepsi Max line.  Initially available in 3 styles: Dave Max, Mosh Max and Ethel Max (duh!). Quantities are limited, available in a range of doggie sizes*, $20 each (NO bitcoin), available 10/10/16, pre-order now!

Dave Max

Moshi (“Mosh”) Max

Ethel Max

*NO cat sizes available at launch or anytime thereafter, so don’t even axe!

EP.com would like to wish a Pacific Erda (not pictured, see note) the best of luck in her marathon this weekend. We love dat speedy Erda!!!!!!

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Note: At the request of the current rightsholder of the Name, Image and Likeness of the aforementioned Erda all photos have been removed.